I learned a few things about mothering multiples even before they were born. If you're lucky, your multiple pregnancy will not be any more eventful than a singleton pregnancy. Even so, it is different. You need to be more careful and heed your dr's warnings even more than the average pregnant woman. No matter how healthy you are and how healthy your babies are, you are a high risk pregnancy.

If there are complications, they are not your fault. No good can come from feeling guilty. Take every day as it comes and measure the small victories. Don't compare your regency to anyone else's every pregnancy, especially a multiple pregnancy is different.

The real learning begins after the babies are born. I always heard that managing twins required organization. I had this image in my head of myself turning into this very organized super-mom with schedules and things labeled and a neat house. Not so. If you are an organized woman before twins, then you start at an advantage, but you're used to that. Organized people always start with an advantage.

I'm here to tell you that you CAN successfully raise twins without any (or with very little) organization. You just have to like visiting the grocery store every night. And living in a messy house. And eating pizza several times a week.

The first couple of weeks and months will be the hardest, just like with any new baby. The big key is to pull in as much help as you can right from the start. Don't think that you're the only one who can change their diaper the right way, or put them to sleep or even feed them. My husband and I worked as a team especially for night feedings. This was critical to our survival those first few weeks.

Keep a feeding chart. There are many different ways to do this, pick which one works best for you. My twins were bottle fed and the breast milk was stored in the fridge. So we kept a white board on the fridge that gave the time they were last fed and the time they were due to feed again. We also noted anything special, like if we increased the amount one or both were eating or they didn't eat well etc... This worked out really, really well for us.

Other notes. We were advised by nurses and many on-line forums to record other information too, like bms and nap times (or awake times for the really small ones). But this ended up being too much work for our tired minds and we were able to get by without it.

Sleeping arrangements. My twins shared a crib at the hospital and they shared one when they got home too. They were probably about 3 or 3 and half months old when we needed to give them more space. When they were about 8 weeks old we put in a crib divider so my active boy didn't roll on top of my tiny girl. They still share the same room today and seem to like it. They talk before falling asleep at nap times and sometimes we can get a little extra sleep because they chat with each other in the morning.

Sharing Clothes and other accessories. I have boy/girl twins and I was kind of disappointed that we didn't get a single gender neural outfit as a gift. Looking back, it isn't too surprising. First off, we told everyone the genders as soon as we found out. And secondly, people like to shop for cute outfits for babies. You can count on other people to buy the cute outfits, spend your money on the practical clothes. I made it a point to get as much gender neutral items as I could, especially pajamas. This gets more difficult as they get older. Worst case scenario, my daughter wears truck pjs to sleep and my son eats with a princess bib. My advice, ask for some gender neutral clothes and items. Blankets and bibs are probably the easiest. (Side note: my son's favorite blankie is pink, even though we had plenty of blue ones. He doesn't mind, so nobody else does either.)

The stroller issue. There are many different stroller options, even for twins. I read reviews, but decided to go with a tandem (one seat behind the other) even though reviews warned against it. I wanted it for the mall and other indoor locations. We also got one of those stroller frames that are really light and you can just snap any car seat into it. That was ideal. I recommend that to all parents, but especially parents of twins. It is so light and easy to move. We ended up buying a jogging stroller ourselves because we found the indoor strollers too bumpy and hard to push, even on side walks. This was the best purchase we ever made. We took so many long walks with them in that stroller and will use it for years to come. We only got a few uses out of the big tandem stroller. At first we were using the frame with the car seats, so we didn't need it. When the first baby reached 20 lbs, we moved to the tandem stroller and it was great. We had one baby still snapped in the car seat and the other sitting right in the stroller. Then the second baby reached 20 lbs. Now they were both sitting directly in the stroller. The rear seat reclined all the way, for better naps, but didn't have a great view. The front seat was uncomfortable for napping, but great for looking around. Neither baby was happy.

Eventually we got two "lite" single strollers. We use those in malls now. We attach them together (although that makes them difficult to maneuver) or my husband will take one and I'll take the other. The big tandem stroller has been put away forever. We gave the frame to someone we knew expecting twins. We hope they enjoyed it as much as we did.

Toddler hood Update My little twins are now two. Almost all the things that were difficult before are now easy, but all the stuff that was easy is now hard. It is so great to see them play together and give each other the occasional hug or pat on the head. Of course that could just as easily turn into an all out brawl complete with kicking and hair-pulling. (Thankfully they've both gotten past biting.) We travel so light now, a couple of diapers and a sippy cup to share. They can eat at the table and in most restaurants. We sing songs and play games. It's so much fun. But they are cunning. "No" means "wait until I'm busy with your sister, then try to balance on the edge of the couch." Throwing is an issue. And they even mock us. But this morning my little girl said "I love you Mama." Yeah, I have to say toddler hood is good.

Jealousy and Sharing As my twins grew, jealousy in many forms has crept into our daily lives. One twin will want to be held when the other one is being held. Or sometimes one will want to be held just to prevent you form giving attention to the other twin. Often it doesn't involve us at all, but a toy (What makes the round, red block so much better than the rest?), a book or even a piece of clothing. I guess this is just sibling rivalry playing itself out in the unique situation of twins. This seems to only get bad in phases or as reaction to a special situation.
Most of the time they are able to work things out themselves. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they get into fights that we need to break-up. But we've learned not to rush in too fast. The more we let them work things out on their own, the better they seem to be at dealing with them.
Compared to other kids their age, they seem to be much better at sharing and taking turns. If you had two cookies to one of them and tell them to give one to their brother or sister. They will. An apparent benefit to having twins.

Other lessons I've learned:

• Choosing a Baby Gift for New Twins (or more)
• Appropriate Gifts for New Baby in the NICU
• Naming Your Twins
• Planning a Twins Baby Shower